My unexpected life journey

I thought I had written another post but apparently not.  After much thought, I decided to start a blog to share the journey that I have been walking.  Lots have happened and I’ve been in therapy a couple of years after decades of just harboring everything within myself and being slowly eaten away by harsh emotions, memories and experiences I’ve had throughout life.

The most recent experience was returning to the United States after being in Sao Paulo Brazil for almost 5 years.  The transition of being back home in Texas has been trying and very difficult at times.  I’ve suffered from depression since I was 12 years old.  I was briefly treated once back in 2005 (I think) but the doctor didn’t want to renew my being the prescription and I just have up trying to get help.  For most of my life, I’ve thought that people didn’t really want to help me in any way.  So I thought the doctor was being the same as everyone else who enters my life.  I’ll get into this more in future posts.

In Brazil, things were difficult overall.  Most of my experiences in Brazil will also be shared in future posts but now I’m talking about finally trying to seek help for my decision and anxiety.  The anxiety had probably there for most of my life but it became more prevalent while I was in Brazil.  Finally I got some help but, for a short time, I lapsed in my treatment.  But I was finally put into contact with a therapist (whom I still meet with to this day on Whatsapp).  He helped me find a psychiatrist who prescribed me medications to help with the depression and anxiety.

Once I returned to the states, I took the remainder of the medications I had from Brazil but didn’t take the necessary steps to find a psychiatrist until months later.  My deposit has gotten so bad that to the point I was having suicidal ideations.  My therapist other me to find a psychiatrist and make an appointment so I could be put back on medication since it seems I can’t really function without the medication.  I agreed and made an appointment for March of this year (2025).  I knew it was time to reach out and get the help I needed with my mental health.  There have been some adjustments but now I feel like I’m on the right medications with the right dosages for me.

So I think I will end on this note and try my best to post daily.